A few days ago I turned thirty five. I joked about going into a midlife crisis, about acting out, getting that sports convertible and drive around with the wind blowing in my non-existent luscious long hair. All to compensate for getting older and having had a less than fulfilling life. And maybe there is some truth to that. I don't really feel like I did much these past thirty five years, I could have done so much better if I just applied myself more. I certainly wouldn't be broke if I had made some different choices these last five years, like I missed a few promotion opportunities and passed a lucrative job offer out of a sense of loyalty to my employer.
My earnings as writer are meager and doesn't cover my extra daily cost, it barely covers my editing and publishing costs. With my day job lagging career-wise and money-wise, subtracting inflation, I am making less than I did five years ago. With insurance rising in costs and yearly being downgrading in covarage, I don't have a adental plan anymore, and I couldn't afford additional coverage. And even with extra insurance the covarage sucks, you end paying around 50-80% yourself.
Three years ago I scrapped any remaining dental plans and put the money I saved aside. Initially I got a sizable amount saved, but with each yearly downfall (something broke, wife got ill) I had to take money away to cover other expenses and now that I got zero left, a tooth broke.
With no insurance, being broke, I can't have the care I need. And you know what makes it worse is the realization that even if I had the insurance I wouldn't really be able to afford the care I need. Sometimes my life sucks, really sucks. The only good thing right now is that the broken tooth doesn't hurt, however I'm not sure for how long that will last.
In June I hope to publish two novels and I will pray to existence itself to please let those get me enough for me to be able to cover the cost I need to make to fix my damn tooth. My writing is the only thing I can do right now to earn me some extra cash in the short time. For this year I won't be having a raise, I can't expect more money from my day job. It doesn't help that the economic climate is not very favorable right now and especially not when your health starts failing.